I once asked God to never let me be at peace at the face of corruption.
More than ten years ago I entered this government agency which is known to be the most corrupt. I once asked why do people engage in illegal transactions when they could do otherwise. Salaries and benefits were already good at that time. Then I was told to come back in 4 years and see if I ask the same question. What she meant was I was still a green horn who would eventually get used to the corruption business in the organization. 6 years after, unmindful of what she told me before, I asked the same question. She was surprised that I still asked in the same degree of passion and frustration. She said I was a hard shell.
Fast forward to 2010, I got a contract in this government agency with a very clean reputation - a far cry from my former agency. Just barely a week after I started working I became a witness to a shameless corruption that rocked my brains for a year. Aside from the fact that it shattered the national impression of this agency, it redefined my concept of corruption. Between two corrupt persons, the worst is the one who does it in the open without remorse.
Today, I am back in my old agency with a more mature outlook. I guess I am less naive and vulnerable to shocking stuff such as this. Not that I agree with those who still do the illegal business because my stand is still the same. My stomach still churn whenever I encounter such activities. But with alliances I could be more proactive rather than reactive.
I believe I now have a stronger yet still vigilant heart.